For Individuals, Couples, Children, and Families
|Posted on August 27, 2013 at 10:15 AM|
There is a great book I use sometimes called “Feelings to Share from A to Z” by Todd and Peggy Snow and Illustrated by Carrie Hartman.
You can find it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Feelings-Share-A-Todd-Snow/dp/1934277002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377560519&sr=8-1&keywords=feelings+to+share
And in it there is a feeling word for each letter of the alphabet.
My favorites are “U is for understood” and “V is for Valued”
Those pages read:
“U is for Understood
You feel understood when people hear
The things you have to say
About what is new at school
Or what you did today.”
“V is for valued
Your mother praises you for a job well done
And your teacher thanks you for helping someone.
When people notice the good things you do and say,
You feel valued each and every day.”
Yesterday I taught a Sunday school lesson to a group of 4 and 5 year olds stressing the importance of showing love to others.
The focus of the lesson was on helping the children develop behaviors to show understanding and value of others.
When all was said and done there were four behaviors that these young children isolated as the way to show love to others:
· Tell them you love them. Say it in words.
· Include them in the things you do.
· Listen to the things they say.
· Compliment them when you notice they have done something well.
How often are we doing these things to show our children love? How often do we look into our children’s eyes and tell them that we love them? How often do we just sit and listen to their stories and their questions without interrupting or superimposing some kind of lesson onto their childlike amazement or wonder at the world? How often do we take the time to offer a labeled praise, full of specific information about their good choices or about what makes them magnificent? How often do we invite them to do what we do?
Children want to know that they matter to us. We think of it as a foregone conclusion: you are my child. Of course you matter.
But their little souls are searching for validation and acceptance in our eyes. Their sassy teen angst is a secret plea to be appreciated, respected, and included in the adult world.
How do you feed that need in your child?